Ab Antiquo

Do you lack creativity?

Do you want to purchase an auction participant, but draw a blank on what to do with him/her?

Have you been accused of being a boring purchaser?

FEAR NOT, MY VANILLA BEANS!

For the rock bottom price of 5,000 coins, I can ensure both you and your purchase have a raging good time. You will get 2 ideas custom suited to your needs and desires.

For 15,000 coins, I'll include an additional 2 ideas as well as suggest a participant for purchase in your price range.

Don't be accused of being a boring purchaser! Take full advantage of your purchase, your twisted desires, and your warped little fantasies, all with the peace of mind of being able to blame me for it all.

If you just want someone to blame, I'll take full credit for your depravity for 3,000 coins. Peace of mind guaranteed.

What you get:

• The contents of your package
• A numbered seal of authenticity to show you truly are not to blame

PM for requests.


ETA: Updated for 2021

Fuckin hustler

lol.

This is still a thing.

Here are some reviews from satisfied customers:

There is something very wrong with you.

... Is that even possible?

Wow. Just wow. You're depraved.

Call today for your free consultation!

Vex, you are the silliest of geese.

Why'm I very unsurprised that this is a thing that's happening?

With the auctions around the corner, I'm going to remind everyone that this service is still available! And cheap!

You're hired.

Vex wrote: ↑

Tue Mar 13, 2018 8:42 am

This is still a thing.

Here are some reviews from satisfied customers:

There is something very wrong with you.

This one is my fave review

A depraved mind is a beautiful thing. Thank you for your services, Vex.