The Seventh Rank

[ladypeacek]

I am going to do you the courtesy of being entirely upfront with you, Yawa. The timing of you dredging this up, well aware of the emotional value attached to it by those involved, is suspect as fuck. Or maybe implicilty direct timing, I don't know anymore.

Seventh rank is not and was not special. It is not the only group to have come and gone. Dozens upon dozens of groups have fizzled out, changed course, tweaked as the reality of their vision didn't fit quite right, and walked away from the rubble of their dreams when it just didn't pan out. Speaking as someone who has tried and failed many times over to find the right thing, the right group or activity that would aide in the city's health, failure is better than doing nothing at all and allowing the city to go stagnant, yet again. We don't need you to circle back and make some grand proclomation that you have changed, that you are wiser and better now. That's really just...abysmally normal for living and learning, so I cannot help but speculate on why you felt the need to do this...now.

I will also address the apologies you are not making. No one has any issue with taking the old and evolving it, bringing it back, working deeper from the original design. Literally no one. The issue is not knowing the history, or spitting on the history, or acting as if the people who built this city, on those ideals,dying time and time again to defend them, are worth nothing to the new creation, that history serves no purpose at all. This is where my pearls get clutched. But that didn't happen here. There were never apologies needed for the creation and end of Seventh Rank. Not to the city. The baggage you carry is personal. It is not the city's baggage, please do not try to make it so.

[Yawa]

I am going to do you the courtesy of being entirely upfront with you, Yawa. The timing of you dredging this up, well aware of the emotional value attached to it by those involved, is suspect as fuck. Or maybe implicilty direct timing, I don't know anymore.

Seventh rank is not and was not special. It is not the only group to have come and gone. Dozens upon dozens of groups have fizzled out, changed course, tweaked as the reality of their vision didn't fit quite right, and walked away from the rubble of their dreams when it just didn't pan out. Speaking as someone who has tried and failed many times over to find the right thing, the right group or activity that would aide in the city's health, failure is better than doing nothing at all and allowing the city to go stagnant, yet again. We don't need you to circle back and make some grand proclomation that you have changed, that you are wiser and better now. That's really just...abysmally normal for living and learning, so I cannot help but speculate on why you felt the need to do this...now.

I will also address the apologies you are not making. No one has any issue with taking the old and evolving it, bringing it back, working deeper from the original design. Literally no one. The issue is not knowing the history, or spitting on the history, or acting as if the people who built this city, on those ideals,dying time and time again to defend them, are worth nothing to the new creation, that history serves no purpose at all. This is where my pearls get clutched. But that didn't happen here. There were never apologies needed for the creation and end of Seventh Rank. Not to the city. The baggage you carry is personal. It is not the city's baggage, please do not try to make it so.

What I’m saying, pea, is that Liander being upset about someone “spitting on history” when we bastardised the Codex and never practiced what we preached, is ironic. You don’t need to suspect anything: I’m going to draw a straight line for you here.

I was young and didn’t understand or appreciate history. I tried to revise it without understanding where my beliefs came from. The person who was to be my “teacher” only regurgitated words he didn’t understand. Rote memorisation doesn’t make meaning.

As for me necroing this thread, what I’m doing is telling whoever believes in something that it is not impossible to learn from failure and to become stronger in your beliefs after becoming disenchanted by and losing them.

You don’t need me to circle back to anything, but just because you don’t see any purpose or point to self-reflection and accountability doesn’t mean it isn’t needed. Because somebody else might need it.

I’m sorry that hurts your boy’s feelings, but this is my history too. I own this shit. This is mine and my mistake and I’m allowed to talk about it whenever the fuck I want, even if it hurts your feelings.

Because you’re right: history is important. That’s the shit we learn from.

Amor fucking fati.

[Liander]

YAWA is correct.

I failed here. This entire project was an ego fueled masturbatory session. And I did so with a profound disrespect of our past and a staggering lack of comprehension.

We did this city a disservice. What's more, I abused and let down the people who trusted us. This apology is long past due. I was trying to find a way or time to give it. Thank you for the opportunity.

YAWA, Mei, Reyna, Lorrana, Lullaby, Jude, Rhet: I am sorry. I manipulated teachings I did not understand and gained and abused your trust to cloak my own insecurities in a grab for power. Each of you deserved better.

Addie, Max, Azeara, Vex, Pea, Lilou: I am sorry. My insecurity became paranoia and I was cruel to each of you in different ways out of fear and greed.

Ravenblack City: I am sorry. This fruitless endeavor cost us good people. It wasted your time and brought heartache and chaos.

[Yawa]

We don't need you to circle back and make some grand proclomation that you have changed, that you are wiser and better now.

The baggage you carry is personal. It is not the city's baggage, please do not try to make it so.

Now say that to your childe.

[Liander]

Well, we're not going to agree on everything.

[ophelia]

Good on you for the apology for past actions, Liander

[ladypeacek]

I’m sorry that hurts your boy’s feelings, but this is my history too. I own this shit. This is mine and my mistake and I’m allowed to talk about it whenever the fuck I want, even if it hurts your feelings.

First, I am going to say this once. He is not my boy, my man, or whatever other condescending way people choose to describe him. Surely, this isn't who you are as a person. You can use his name. He hadn't even seen your initial post when I responded, nor have I had any sort of conversation with him about the post, Seventh Rank, the history between you, what happened then, now or anything in relation to you, whatsoever. Not a word. I read this and responded without a single detail.

I will say, Yawa, I don't think what you did with Seventh Rank, was to spit on history, regardless of the mistakes and how it turned out. There is intent and motive missing. I do not believe you, Liander, or anyone else involved intended to spit on history, even if hindsight may lead you to believe that is what happened, and maybe it was the result, but that was not what any of you set out to do, was it? I rather believe, you started it in hopes of celebrating history and got some of it wrong. It happens. You try, you fail, you try again better.

Motive and Intent. This is where I live, where I have always lived. This is what separates our situation with Carrot, to your situation in Seventh Rank, whatever it turned out to be, it did not start with the motive to spit on the history of those who participated in the teachings of prior factions before you.

[Yawa]

I don’t give a fuck about how these situations are different. I give a fuck about how they are the same. If I can point to my mistakes so some mouthy fuckass, who throws her whole blue waffle into believing something this hard, one day uses some of the lessons and all of that energy into making something great, then cool.

I don’t need you to stroke my ego and coo-coo me about this, pea. I’m not the audience for that. Thanks though, I appreciate it. Have fun kicking smurfs.

[Oberon]

Good on you for the apology for past actions, Liander

Again. And again. And again.

I'd advise against entertaining another lukewarm apology. He's good at those, and he calls them absolution. You'll see the mutt beating his chest in five minutes again. But of course, freedom of belief.

Anyway, peacek, let me be abundantly clear: it is the City's baggage because it was them to swarm the 7th. Moreover, though, it is their baggage, and they'll talk about it as much as they please. It's a baggage for which your childe still owes me over a million in coin. If you don't like it, I suggest you do what one should normally do when a discussion displeases you, and move on over in silence.

Surely, this isn't who you are as a person.

Surely you're not trying to draw a judgement call on my childe for their very well-earned disdain of yours. I suppose you'd know nothing about that, to be fair, what with the way you appear to not actually discuss anything with your childe regarding his own history in any depth.

When addressing cowardice and disrespect, I'd like to know why exactly it is your childer going off to defend you and donning the blue, instead of you defending your own 'good' name. I'd like to know where this sudden respect for institutions comes from, when you have yourself dismissed vows and creed, as well as the childe purportedly defending 'honour'.

You're hypocrites. You're hypocrites, and vultures, and this is embarrassing. You're embarrassing yourself. You're letting your childer embarrass you.

My suggestion would be to ride out your political seppuku quietly, but we both know that's not something you or your boy are capable of. By all means, continue, as this cringefest appears to be far from over.

To the Peacekeepers, while I may not agree with your beliefs, I respect enough that you're willing to fight for them. It's a feature that appears to be sorely lacking, and I for one am glad that someone is trying to give an otherwise meaningless institution some meaning and allowing others that hold those same beliefs to participate and have a voice, if they so desire. Diversity on the board is what makes this City alive.

This is as far as I'll go on the matter. Enjoy.

[Yawa]

And, personally, I'm not done. Any time anyone even suggests I shut up about my story and "not make it the city's baggage," I'm going to talk even louder.

Not reflecting on past projects and mistakes with a critical eye and dismissing it as "oh well, but you meant well, your intention was good, so it's all good," is something people like doncey do. Not me.

A PSA.