The Birdwatcher's Tales; Part 7

[Jaqueline]

Part 7, Love letters

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“I have received all your letters, but none has made me such an impression as the last. How, my beloved, can you write to me like that?

Don't you think my position is cruel enough, without adding my sorrows and crushing my spirit?

What a style! What feelings you show! They are fire, and they burn my poor heart.

My one and only Joséphine, apart from you there is no joy; away from you, the world is a desert where I am alone and cannot open my heart.

You have taken more than my soul; you are the one thought of my life.

When I am tired of the worry of work, when I feel the outcome, when men annoy me, when I am ready to curse being alive, I put my hand on my heart; your portrait hangs there, I look at it, and love brings me perfect happiness, and all is milling except the time I must spend away from my mistress.

By what art have you captivated all my facilities and concentrated my whole being in you? It is a sweet friend, that will die only when I do.

To live for Joséphine, that is the history of my life I long.”

Letter dated April 3rd, 1796 from Napoleon Bonaparte to Joséphine de Beauharnais

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Napoleon Bonaparte - and military leader and commander, Emperor of the French - remains one of the most celebrated and controversial leaders in human history. Considered an enlightened despot by some, a tyrant and usurper by others. He bankrupted France with his wars - yet spread the values of the French Revolution to other countries, leading to legal reforms and in some cases the abolition of serfdom.

And he was a man of great passions. A romantic poet, one might say.

Napoleon's letters to his wife Joséphine de Beauharnais are considered among the most romantic in all of history, rivaling those of Beethoven to his mysterious Immortal Beloved. When they met in 1795, Napoleon had recently been promoted to Commander of the Interior and given command of the Army of Italy. Joséphine was a widowed woman with two children, six years his senior and with lesser means and standing than she let on (and prone to acquiring debts) – the relationship and later marriage in early 1796 never sat well with Napoleon’s family.

He was said to be enraptured with her and would often write his "adorable Joséphine" when he was away on a campaign - sometimes as soon as he had gotten off his horse. Their love story was one of all-consuming love and (not so) secret affairs on both sides. A story of great passion and jealousy – both often evident in letters in equal measures. But despite the storms and tumultuous passions, there was a deep-rooted affection between them that would last until death them parted.

From surviving love letters, it is quite clear the couple had been together intimately before their nuptials. The marriage might have been short lived otherwise. As the story goes, Joséphine insisted that her beloved pug named Fortune would be allowed into their shared bed from the first night. Perhaps as punishment for the groom for having been late for his own wedding. And on their wedding night, whilst attempting the act of consuming the marriage, the creature bit Napoleon’s leg, leaving him with a scar. The dog was not executed, as one might have expected.

During Napoleon’s time in Egypt in 1799, Joséphine bought the Château de Malmaison and had it landscaped to resemble the English style, later adored with rose gardens. Joséphine became so fascinated with roses, that she had her staff teach her about botany and she wanted to collect all known types. To help grant her wish, Napoleon ordered for his warship commanders to search all vessels they had seized for plants that could be given to his wife.

While their marriage ended in divorce in 1810, due to the lack of an heir, there was still love between the two of them. The divorce was declared at an assembly in the emperor’s cabinet in the Tuileries, attended by the royal family, the royal members of other countries and members of French nobility. In a part of his speech, Napoleon declared: "She has been crowned by my hand. It is my will that she retain the rank and title of empress, and especially that she never doubt my sentiments, and that she ever hold me as her best and dearest friend."

During his exile on the Isle of Elba, Napoleon received word that Joséphine had died on the 29th of May in 1814, soon after walking with Tsar Alexander in her beloved rose gardens of Malmaison. Upon receiving the news, the man was devastated and locked himself into his rooms for two days. Napoleon later died on St. Helena in May 1821, crippled by illness. General Charles de Montholon provided in his memoirs an account of Napoleon’s last words on his deathbed:

“The night was very bad: towards two o’clock delirium became evident, and was accompanied by nervous contractions. Twice I thought I distinguished the unconnected words, “France – armée, tête d’armée – Joséphine….” (France - the army, the head of the army - Joséphine.)

Many of Napoleon’s letters remain to this day, among them a letter he wrote to his adorable Joséphine. He could express his disappointment about her lack of correspondence, later in the letter begging her to join him post haste. Rage about rumors of infidelity, but lament about how much he misses her. There is one such letter I know nearly by heart, written by Napoleon to Joséphine during his Italian campaign and siege of Mantua in 1796.

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(To Joséphine de Beauharnais)

Marmirolo, July 17, 1796

I have received your letter, my adorable friend. It has filled my heart with joy. I am grateful to you for the trouble you have taken to send me the news. I hope that you are better today. I am sure that you have recovered. I earnestly desire that you should ride on horseback: it cannot fail to benefit you.

Since I left you, I have been constantly depressed. My happiness is to be near you. Incessantly I live over in my memory your caresses, your tears, your affectionate solicitude. The charms of the incomparable Joséphine kindle continually a burning and a glowing flame in my heart. When, free from all solicitude, all harassing care, shall I be able to pass all my time with you, having only to love you, and to think only of the happiness of so saying, and of proving it to you? I will send you your horse, but I hope you will soon join me.

I thought that I loved you months ago, but since my separation from you I feel that I love you a thousand-fold more. Each day since I knew you, have I adored you yet more and more. This proved the maxim of La Bruyere that ‘love comes all at once’ to be false. Everything in nature has its own course, and different degrees of growth. Ah! Pray let me see some of your faults. Be less beautiful, less gracious, less affectionate, less good, especially be not over-anxious, and never weep. Your tears rob me of reason, and inflame my blood. Believe me it is not in my power to have a single thought which is not of thee, or a wish I could not reveal to thee.

Seek repose. Quickly re-establish your health. Come and join me, that at least, before death, we may be able to say, "We were many days happy." A thousand kisses, and one even to Fortune, notwithstanding his spitefulness.”

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My own opinions about Napoleon as a historical figure notwithstanding, there is much about his relationship with Joséphine that I can relate to. Quoting Simone Signoret, the French academy award winning actress: "Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years." Even if the band around the finger is removed and vows recanted, not all threads are severed.

The person we fell in love with is not the same person we love today. People change. To fall in love is a wonderful thing. To love someone, still, for the person they have become…

The ancient Chinese philosopher and writer Laozi stated: “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” The people we love can be many a thing to us. They can be the ones to calm us, sooth us, tell us that we are good enough as we are, when we feel that we are lacking. Or they can be the ones to give us a kick, tell us to get up and do what they know we are capable of – even if we are unsure about our own abilities. They can be the wet stone that sharpens us, helps us hone our traits and abilities. Or the file that smoothes out the sharp edges and our bite. We may wish to protect them or find safety under their protective wing. They can bring out the best in us – make us a bit braver, a bit more patient. Or bring out the worst in us – make us possessive, maybe a bit obsessive.

Or from personal experience, they are stubborn creatures who literally grab and shake us, growling: “Damnit, let me take care of you, woman!” And you keep telling them to move their feet down from the coffee table.

The success of a long-lasting relationship or marriage is not determined by how few issues there were – for let us be honest, not even the most well matched and even-tempered couple think and feel the same way about everything. Couples disagree, argue and even fight. It’s resolving matters that builds a relationship. Compromises, changes, accepting things that cannot or will not change and learning ways to live with them.

“I saw that you were perfect, and I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect, and I loved you even more.” – Angelita Lim

On the 19th of June 2010, I watched as they broadcasted the wedding of Victoria, Crown Princess of Sweden, and Daniel Westling on television. Victoria and Daniel’s way to the altar had not been easy. She was a crown princess with official duties, expected to marry a noble. He was a commoner with a thick rural accent, not accepted into the fold by the royal family. The love story of this seemingly star-crossed couple had been keenly followed by the public over nearly a decade, the same public pleading that old conventions and expectations be cast out. Let the princess have her rural young man - who while perhaps not a frog, was certainly not a prince, as Daniel himself put it. In the long run, love prevailed.

The year 2010 marked the 200th year since Jean Baptiste Jules Bernadotte, from whom the Royal House of Sweden descended, became heir presumptive to the Swedish throne. Bernadotte, whom had both been appointed a Marshal of the Empire and later made Prince of Pontecorvo by Napoleon. His actions had led to this decorated soldier – raised to nobility by Napoleon – to be chosen as heir to the childless King of Sweden. Coincidentally, it was also 200 years since the divorce of Napoleon and Joséphine.

On her wedding day, the princess bride smiled with happiness. Dressed in white, trail and all, the ensemble crowned by the Swedish cameo diadem. It’s first owner had once been Empress Joséphine.

The couple exchanged their vows and were declared husband and wife in the Stockholm Cathedral. A carriage procession followed the ceremony, in which the wedding couple was transported through the streets of Stockholm, with an estimated 500,000 people gathered to watch the procession, cheering for the couple and congratulating them on their (long-awaited, long overdue) marriage.

During the wedding banquet at the Royal palace, Daniel held a heartfelt speech dedicated to his newly wed wife. Part of that speech made me pause.

“There have been times when Victoria’s official duties have separated us. Often taken her to faraway countries and continents. I will never forget some years ago when she left for one of her many trips, this time to China. We were going to be apart for a whole month. The night before she left, she got home late after an official engagement, and she had many preparations to make before the long month of duties ahead. Instead of getting some valuable sleep she stayed up the whole night writing. In the morning after she had gone I found a box. And in that box, I found 30 beautiful letters addressed to me. One for every day she would be away.”

Two love stories 200 year apart, tied in so many ways. So many letters.

Later that June night in 2010, I went to see a man. He did not talk much and was often sour of mood, yet I found his companionship soothing, the man himself intriguing. And not at all hard on the eyes when he brushed up. Never did I imagine that for him I would be dressed in white and come to truly understand the sentiment behind Napoleon’s penned words to his Joséphine. How one thinks they love someone, to come and love them a thousand-fold more. Adore them yet more, even as time brings out their faults and imperfections. That love does not all come at once, that it grows and blossoms. For us, it continues to do so.

He is not the man I fell in love with 8 years ago, nor am I the same. We are not the people we were when he proposed to me. Nor are we the people we were, when we were bound and wed. We changed. The man I call my husband today, I love more than I did before.

“A great marriage doesn't happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but how well you continue building love until the end.” – Unknown


To Laurentius

With love,
Your Jaqueline

(Special thanks to Whitefang for proof reading <3)

[Vex]

This is absolutely lovely. Congratulations to you and Laurentius, and all the couples out there who've been together - and stayed together - through the best times and the worst.

Thank you for sharing.

[Malice]

This was beautiful, Jackie. And a little history lesson to boot! Thank you so much for sharing, and congratulations on your many happy years with Laur and to all the more to come. <3