The Little War That Couldn't— A Series of Unfortunate Events II: Electric Boogaloo (Now with Numbers!)
Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2024 2:23 am
PART I - Summary Statement
PART II - Numbers
PART III - Concluding Remarks
No war[ish] reporting is complete without numbers - those things I have a rather unhealthy obsession with. Welcome to the numbers portion of the evening - we won’t call it War-by-Numbers because Warrior Barbie absconded to a beach somewhere. Rude.
I will start with the caveat that we do not have Day 1 numbers for either side. We started recording on late Day 2 (June 18th) numbers. Why? Well… we got excited, I was drunk, and we were more focused on celebrating vials being thrown than settling into war mode. Alas and alack, I remembered my obsession on Day 2, and so began our recording. The numbers presented below are accurate to the best of my ability while attempting to factor in/out fighters who joined, dropped out, and necro vs. loss.
Instead of some well-organised day-by-day analysis, you’re stuck with me looking back at a drawn-out fortnight of data with the benefit of hindsight.
Basic Stats
The Loose Collective maintained a revolving door of people throughout the fight, hovering around 16 total fighters at any given time, though generally adding more as time went on. Starting blood: upwards of 977850 pints for 24 participants.
MADS also had about 16 consistent hitters, with a few late additions to the roster. Starting blood on the MADS roster was north of 409045 pints for 23 participants.
Starting blood is the first sight information I have on fighters for each side, regardless of when they joined the fray. Here, the Collective had the numbers disadvantage for reporting: larger targets bleed more, and many of their fighters were high-blooded, so hit for hit, MADS would have come out looking better on a scorecard.
Except it didn’t go hit for hit.
Starting Gates
Days 1, 2, and 3 were probably the bloodiest days for both sides. The Collective did 44664 pints of damage on Day 3, and likely similar levels of damage on Days 1 and 2. On Day 3 MADS dealt out 57180 pints of damage.
Things were relatively stable until the June 21st meeting where Tarchetti made it clear nobody knew what was going on Collective-side. After that point, MADS continued to gain momentum with an average daily damage (during combat days) of 37500 pints, while the Collective faltered with an average damage of just under 5000 pints per active combat day.
Midgame
A whole lot of nothing happened from June 24th-27th while waiting for meetings, the conclusion of meetings, and follow-up. MADS somehow gained 266 pints over this same period.
This relative peace was shattered by Abel’s war cry of “Fuck you, Vexian!” on the evening of the 27th followed up by an underwhelming wave on our 4 unshadowed people (total damage: negligible, we gained 266 pints, remember?). We actually thought they were baiting, so we ran a bait run right back. Except they weren’t baiting. Total damage: 35060 pints - should have been way more.
Conclusion
On June 29th, Julia reached out to broker a resolution meeting set for Tuesday, July 2nd. Given the clusterfuck of the previous two meetings, MADS declined a ceasefire in the interim.
From June 29th to July 2nd, meeting time, The Collective lost 84813 pints while MADS lost 4155 pints. Admittedly, 38% of the Collective’s losses came from doncey going live and generally being a wonderful little gremlin. We stan. All 4155 pints of MADS’ loss on these dates were also attributable to doncey aside from one single UVG to my pretty little face.
In total, MADS lost 83563 pints and necroed 8k. None of MADS were zeroed, including Raleigh, who started this conflict with a whopping necro cap of 2886 pints. How did he not die? Nobody knows. We told this kid from the outset that he was gon’ die.
The Collective lost 426544 pints, necroed 14k, and had 6 of their leaders or presumed leaders staked.
In the style of Epic Rap Battles of History, I leave you, dear reader, with the following question: who won?
And maybe also, who’s next?
-Vexian de Draak Schiaraffa
-Head of Haus Schiaraffa
-MADS
P.S. I acknowledged these numbers are imperfect, but still paint the picture well enough for anyone to read between the lines. That said, painting a picture with numbers requires one to spend time with numbers, and I would be happy to share my expertise with anyone interested in how to sight and track wartime happenings.
PART II - Numbers
PART III - Concluding Remarks
---------------
No war[ish] reporting is complete without numbers - those things I have a rather unhealthy obsession with. Welcome to the numbers portion of the evening - we won’t call it War-by-Numbers because Warrior Barbie absconded to a beach somewhere. Rude.
I will start with the caveat that we do not have Day 1 numbers for either side. We started recording on late Day 2 (June 18th) numbers. Why? Well… we got excited, I was drunk, and we were more focused on celebrating vials being thrown than settling into war mode. Alas and alack, I remembered my obsession on Day 2, and so began our recording. The numbers presented below are accurate to the best of my ability while attempting to factor in/out fighters who joined, dropped out, and necro vs. loss.
Instead of some well-organised day-by-day analysis, you’re stuck with me looking back at a drawn-out fortnight of data with the benefit of hindsight.
Basic Stats
The Loose Collective maintained a revolving door of people throughout the fight, hovering around 16 total fighters at any given time, though generally adding more as time went on. Starting blood: upwards of 977850 pints for 24 participants.
MADS also had about 16 consistent hitters, with a few late additions to the roster. Starting blood on the MADS roster was north of 409045 pints for 23 participants.
Starting blood is the first sight information I have on fighters for each side, regardless of when they joined the fray. Here, the Collective had the numbers disadvantage for reporting: larger targets bleed more, and many of their fighters were high-blooded, so hit for hit, MADS would have come out looking better on a scorecard.
Except it didn’t go hit for hit.
Starting Gates
Days 1, 2, and 3 were probably the bloodiest days for both sides. The Collective did 44664 pints of damage on Day 3, and likely similar levels of damage on Days 1 and 2. On Day 3 MADS dealt out 57180 pints of damage.
Things were relatively stable until the June 21st meeting where Tarchetti made it clear nobody knew what was going on Collective-side. After that point, MADS continued to gain momentum with an average daily damage (during combat days) of 37500 pints, while the Collective faltered with an average damage of just under 5000 pints per active combat day.
Midgame
A whole lot of nothing happened from June 24th-27th while waiting for meetings, the conclusion of meetings, and follow-up. MADS somehow gained 266 pints over this same period.
This relative peace was shattered by Abel’s war cry of “Fuck you, Vexian!” on the evening of the 27th followed up by an underwhelming wave on our 4 unshadowed people (total damage: negligible, we gained 266 pints, remember?). We actually thought they were baiting, so we ran a bait run right back. Except they weren’t baiting. Total damage: 35060 pints - should have been way more.
Conclusion
On June 29th, Julia reached out to broker a resolution meeting set for Tuesday, July 2nd. Given the clusterfuck of the previous two meetings, MADS declined a ceasefire in the interim.
From June 29th to July 2nd, meeting time, The Collective lost 84813 pints while MADS lost 4155 pints. Admittedly, 38% of the Collective’s losses came from doncey going live and generally being a wonderful little gremlin. We stan. All 4155 pints of MADS’ loss on these dates were also attributable to doncey aside from one single UVG to my pretty little face.
In total, MADS lost 83563 pints and necroed 8k. None of MADS were zeroed, including Raleigh, who started this conflict with a whopping necro cap of 2886 pints. How did he not die? Nobody knows. We told this kid from the outset that he was gon’ die.
The Collective lost 426544 pints, necroed 14k, and had 6 of their leaders or presumed leaders staked.
In the style of Epic Rap Battles of History, I leave you, dear reader, with the following question: who won?
And maybe also, who’s next?
-Vexian de Draak Schiaraffa
-Head of Haus Schiaraffa
-MADS
P.S. I acknowledged these numbers are imperfect, but still paint the picture well enough for anyone to read between the lines. That said, painting a picture with numbers requires one to spend time with numbers, and I would be happy to share my expertise with anyone interested in how to sight and track wartime happenings.
