Ab Antiquo

Hey, I have one. These segments do not have any reflections on any person(s) here in this city. Living or dead. If so it’s a pure coincidence! If you don’t like lewd language. Turn back now! Don’t read this. Views may vary, they may change. Let’s open up the conversation about bad words. Baaaaad words!

Seg 1

I’m not saying that I dislike this word, Hell I love this word. It’s fun to use in the right context.

“Whore.”

Well, I hate to break it to you sweet cheeks. That sweet ass of yours also whores itself out whether you know it or not.

Some do it for information, some do it for baser instincts, some for money, some for power and some for friendship(s). Others do it for love. We all exchange something.

So that makes us all whores, I’m a whore, you’re a whore. My best friend whores with me. We are a bunch of whores.

Moral: Pay your whores, give them flowers! We like flowers!

To my beautiful Kings and Queens out there. You are all adorable.

Let’s have an open honest conversation (without name-calling) what are your viewpoints? How does this affect our society? Do you -really- have to use it? If so why? What are some alternative words?

Seg 2

Required mission statement: These segments do not have any reflections on any person(s) here in this city. Living or dead. If so it’s a pure coincidence! If you don’t like lewd language. Turn back now! Don’t read this. Views may vary, they may change. Let’s open up the conversation about bad words. Baaaaad words!

We all have them. That tiny pucker ring that clenches when either A: too much prune juice, or B: the oh shit factor. (The jokes are real. I could almost win a subtly contest!)

But what MAKES you an asshole? What makes them an asshole?

Puuuuubliiiiiccccc sentiment, attitude! Carry yourself like you have a massive bulbous dick between your legs, and tripod it up. Act like your lats, are really just natural wing extensions, shave your head bald, grow a beard, and shrink your height down by 5-10” and you’re officially in the dudebro club. Also known as a Manlet.

You lift weights bro?

But WAIT! There’s more!

Of course, there is more, always is. That asshole over there is refusing to help that chick with a flat tire, he’d rather stare at her ass. All stoic faced with a sardonic half-smile. I don’t know. Why is this a gendered word? This shouldn’t be a gendered word! Even though I know a bitch is a gendered equivalent.

What is the key to being a good asshole? Is there such a thing as one?

You can bet there is FRANK! The key to being a good asshole is compassion, let’s face it. Assholes are generally well… assholes. They don’t care!

People who’re labeled as an asshole, only have one thing going for them. RAF. (Resting asshole face) People don’t actually talk to them. I see you seeing me, but well… I’m too chicken shit to see why you’re not talking to me.

(Example of resting asshole face. It’s hard to find a not cute llama.)

Or… OR… there’s a really annoying chick or guy who just can’t take no for an asshole, I mean answer.

No means no! Get your ass gone! But you’re still gonna call them an asshole. Whatever suits your needs at the time. New’s flash, that also makes you an asshole. (Clinging isn’t cute!)

Moral: You don’t know a person until you know a person. That asshole might just save a ferret or have an animal shelter or something.

You don’t know.

Be nice to your assholes!
Give me your sad and degenerative words, and I’ll give my honest thoughts!
Do me a solid, don’t send me a private, just shout your bad words at the bottom!