Maddox wrote: ↑Tue Nov 28, 2017 10:50 am
I'm worried I'll never write, again.
I'm no stranger to the Output Monster. I know that if I feel like I need to present somebody with something 'well-written' then it gets harder and harder for me to write: I get consumed by a kind of spiral. It's that classic 'blank screen and blinking cursor' thing, sitting around in my desk chair and turning it back and forth and squeezing my stress ball.
There's no Output (with a capital O, because it's very important and sophisticated Output), because I get so caught up in overthinking what I'm trying to write. I forget that they call it a rough draft for a reason. I have to consciously remind myself that not all of my ideas are going to be good ideas, that I'm allowed to fuck up and do bad and be outlandishly, awfully wrong, that it's okay to make it not-pretty and messy and even make no sense, at all, the first time around, that dialogue's allowed to not be honed, that it's allowed to be junky and stilted, that things are allowed to be dumb or misspoken or ineffective. It's okay!
I'm going through a little bit of an Output block myself, lately, but if I go back and look through one-on-one RP I've done on Discord, I
am writing. I'm writing every single day! I'm writing Sunday - Saturday, in fact, almost continuously. Any shred of spare time I have? Writing. I've been told by a close friend that he doesn't know exactly how I can produce this much golden garbage so endlessly and efficiently. To which I say, 'Tom, I'm a trash monster!' I'm making words, so, there's definitely something happening (writing!). I think maybe it's just a matter of how you feel about the writing that you
are doing and whether or not that writing is lending anything to your end goal, if you have one, how much of that writing is 'usable as
writing' (in italics because it's all very important and sophisticated writing). In essence, I'm saying that my own Output block is more based on how I
feel about the things I'm producing and not whether I'm actually producing
something which is always better than producing
nothing at all.
If I use the idea of painting as a framework/analogy, you may feel like RP is making practice strokes with your brush, and while some of those practice strokes are very pretty and nice, you just really want to create something cohesive that you can step away from, look at, and nod your head saying, 'This, I'm reasonably proud of.' I get that. I understand that. I often feel the same way.
It could definitely be a lack of solitude, especially if you're into writing things with more INxx than ISxx? I have trouble writing if I don't have some kind of privacy to do it in. Even if that privacy is 'public privacy': As long as there aren't any Space Invaders (not the game, but when people get 'interested' in what I'm doing: 'You're over there typing up a storm.' 'Omg are you writing a novel?' 'God you type fast.') looking over my shoulder. Like they're trying to make conversation with me while I'm doing the most intimate thing humanly possible BESIDES masturbation or sex?
Have you forgotten to take notes? Have you played any writing games with yourself?
Writing Down the Bones is my favorite book for writing exercises. It's a pocket-sized manual and I think this particular copy of it is a dollar and ninety-nine cents, though don't feel pressured to invest in anything like that. There are other writing games out there all over the internet.
If you have a good thesaurus, you can do a 'word jumble': You flip to random pages, point at words, then write three or so down and make yourself incorporate those words into your writing. Or go crazy and write the most thesaurus-y purple prose-y thing that you possibly can. Write 'bad' on purpose! Make up a list of outlandish metaphors! Mix and mash cliches to make Frankencliches. Do 'random topic' clicks on Wikipedia, then force yourself to somehow integrate some of that topic into a paragraph.
Also, Meg (Seppuku's writer) has been putting up some pretty interesting/fun writing challenges.
Maybe you (like myself) are just noticing a lack of attention span when it comes to production, maybe caused by a forming dependence on other people writing
with you. I know if I have somebody there to write
with me, I'll choose that over writing by myself almost every time. Why? Because it's more entertaining and gratifying: I get to write and read at the same time, all the while producing this magnificent, wonderful
thing with somebody else to our mutual gratification/enjoyment! And you get to control how fast it happens, or how slow it happens, and you get to delve into all the intricate parts of everything that you may feel like (I know I do) you miss in movies or in short and snappy books, etc. It's your realm to explore in and you get to do it with a partner or partners, so it's as if you're getting your writing and reading in at the same time!
Then, when it comes to sitting down to do what we call 'real writing' (The Output Monster) we're tapped out from horsing around and we feel like it shows. It's like we're doing our best game-playing while we're practicing for the Big Leagues!
If you're working for like ten / twelve hours a day and you're coming home to people
and moving is happening and/or about to happen, then there could just be too much going on in your life for your brain to form anything long-winded or coherent (which is that super important and sophisticated stuff the Output Monster pitches a nasty fit demanding).
It could be that you need a new writing partner or new writing partners, because your brain isn't made to do the same thing over and over, again! Maybe you need to focus on a
new character or add in a
new NPC or just put your characters into a novel setting?
If you're a compulsive writer, like me, then it's likely you're doing a lot more writing than you think you are, and maybe (like me) it's just a matter of taking yourself way too seriously?
As far as I've calculated, you've written an estimated 536 words in this thread, alone, and
that is definitely
writing.
