The truth, or at least the one I believe now, is that that kind of activity is not what our community needs. The kind sparked by negativity, as demonstrated most recently by the House of Caedis, may provide sporadic bursts that burn brightly, but in the end, fizzle out with no real progress made. I, and the team I work with here on Ab Antiquo, believe we can do better. That presumption may sound arrogant at first, but the motivation is simple: we believe this city and each resident within it deserve better. Not just from us as staff, but from each citizen to the next. The once popular sentiment of paying it forward comes to mind here.
Many of you have noticed by now that I no longer respond to my articles. Doing so would be counter-productive to the goals expressed above, only adding fuel to a fire doomed to burn itself out. News should not be subjective. The ever-spinning game referred to so often as “public relations” (but that should honestly be called perception, slander, manipulation, or shady politics) has to come to an end. Just because I, Liander D’dary, favor one facet of an event over another does not mean that I, the sole Reporter of Ab Antiquo, should only present that side of it in some blind, naive hope of spinning a narrative that paints a picture I prefer. This habit - the ingrained need to win everything - of which we are all guilty, has helped to contribute to the state of this city and the various organizations within.
It is okay to lose. It is okay to be seen as losing. These are lessons I literally had to die and resurrect to learn. In the last war I participated in, we lost and I could not face that failure. Few of us could. We tried to present a narrative that opposed this simple truth, weaving stories of how we had snatched victory from our enemies, of how we had held ourselves to some mystically high moral ground, and of how we outsmarted the warriors we faced time and again. These are lies. We had our asses handed to us and deservedly so. Only in retrospect do I see my primary sin was and is pride. Not only did we lose, but we stripped our enemies of the respect they deserved, and this is a thing I still owe an apology to many of them for in a more credible one-on-one setting. Perhaps one day I will be able to leave my pride behind and do exactly that, but today is unfortunately not that day.
Pride, arrogance, and the harboring of resentment are sins many of us commit daily. They stain the streets and widen the growing divide between us all. We as a community stand on the brink of extinction, and it is only a number of years away now; but rather than working together, we each choose to wage an eternal war. We eat away at each other as the ouroboros, the serpent that consumes the world. We have to want better. We have to actively choose to work for better. Take it from someone who knows - it sucks, and it is a daily fight against your own instincts, but it can be done.
I am lucky enough to be blessed with a team of editors who helps me with this goal. The words presented in my articles are mine, but they do not belong to me. They belong instead to a number of individuals who call me on my shit and refuse to allow me to cling to old habits. I have never needed nor wanted editors before - my goals did not require them. But now I feel a sense of insecurity about my writing, an entirely alien sensation for me. I did not understand it at first and I barely even recognized it for what it was. That comprehension came with my latest article. I understood in the posting why I was so afraid of it - because I was afraid of failure. Before, when I examined and subsequently presented numbers or statistics, I pulled them out of context and selected only the truths that suited me. What I was trying to do was the polar opposite of that: the presentation of objective data, freed from manipulation and exploitation of bias. I was not trying to win something, and that was new.
New is fucking terrifying, for those of you who don’t already know.
This is not an easy task. I prefer to allow a perception that I am not bothered by the criticism of my pieces, because I am also afraid to show weakness. In honesty though, I take them all to heart, even the loudest and those which I know defy reason. Since I have begun to write again, there is one claim in particular that has resurfaced time and again. I have been hesitant to address it because, as I said above, I have no desire to dump fuel onto a fire that won’t last. But in trying to bring about something better to all of you, I feel as if I can no longer ignore it.
The claim: I do not and refuse to approach certain individuals because I am attempting to spin my own bias into my pieces.
This assertion first came about in my coverage of the conflict between Agrippa-Lokason and The Void, with cries that I did not reach out to the former. This is verifiably false, as evidenced here, here, here, here, and here.
It was proclaimed again as recently as my last article and throughout my coverage of the conflict involving the lineages of din Kolesi, de Bouillon, Caedis, and St. John, though specifically there seems to be indignation that I have not contacted Seyda. This is true. It is true because, above all else, I do not need to. Josephine, ladypeacek, and Pulse have all been willing to answer questions I have of their side, while a number of individuals from the varying other sides provide the same. It is also true because of the following statements from Seyda:
”Seyda” wrote:Well, it only took ten days for Liander D’dary to go from all knowledgeable journalist to hypocritical derp.
”Seyda” wrote:This horseshit is why no one will talk to Liander D’dary. The city outside of his bubble thinks he’s a goddamn joke.
”Seyda” wrote:[...] the Ab Antiquo provided its first coverage of the event by having Liander D’dary, staff for the publication that is clearly not in a position to report in an unbiased fashion. [...] Nice try, but your attempt falls on its face.
To identify but a few, and to say nothing of the supporting comments from her wife. I have no desire to subject myself to this kind of hostility nor do I have any reason to trust any answer she would provide me would be honest and forthright. Her biases could be just as damaging as mine. But Liander, you say, you were just talking about wanting to give the community better two paragraphs earlier. Shouldn’t you reach out to her and see if a bridge can be built? I did. Attempts to include Seyda, The Beat, ladypeacek, and the Mayor’s Office were made in The Agora. The result?
”Virgo” wrote:Seyda and i talked about it and she's not sure she wants to actually do anything with it
mostly because you
I mentioned earlier how my personal agenda sullied my reputation and lost me the trust of this city. The same concept holds true here. We, Ab Antiquo, have extended the hand of inclusion. Our concern now is that personal bias is skewing the narrative and I have already stated this publication is doing its best to shed ourselves of that habit.
But in regards to the claim that no such attempts have been made, my response is best summed up by my employer, Dae:
”Dae” wrote:[...]we did not wish to continue to aggravate any involved parties by attempting communication that was clearly undesired. If these opinions have changed, the following numbers will be of use to you -
Dae [Discord: Dae#6894 | Trillian: xxlittlemonsterxx or PM via Ab]
Liander [Discord: Liander#9715 | PM via Ab]
Inu [Discord: Inu#7398 | PM via Ab]
This is all that needs to be said on the matter. The purpose here was, as is generally the case with Ab Antiquo, to provide the full story. A sentiment expressed in another thread was that the city will believe what it wants and I expect no different here. I only hope I have shown a commitment to motivations I have expressed. If I have not, then tell me. If I have failed this city, I need to know. It is only together that we can move forward. Ravenblack City, I know I have not earned your respect. What I am asking for is only a chance to.
[Title inspired by this book.]
